r/Damnthatsinteresting 3d ago I'll Drink to That 2 Defeated 1 Evil Cackle 1 Silver 2 Helpful 3 Wholesome 3 Coin Gift 1 hehehehe 1

Dentist confirms they can tell when someone has recently given a blowjob Video

78.8k Upvotes

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u/All_The_Nolloway 2d ago Starstruck

Dentist perusing your mouth sees bruising "Sooo, how was your weekend?"

6.7k

u/34TH_ST_BROADWAY 2d ago Silver Wholesome Starstruck

"Okay, open wide... bet that's not the first time you heard that today..."

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u/marcoli94 2d ago Wholesome Starstruck

My man

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u/anon-mally 2d ago Starstruck

Thats what she said

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u/viperex 2d ago

Meh, I didn't have to open that wide

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u/ddh85 2d ago

"Did you have a swell time?"

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u/footsteps71 2d ago

The good part came too fast, and everything rapidly deflated from there.

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u/ZoranT84 2d ago

A lot went down

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u/dont_wear_a_C 2d ago

Turkey wasn't the only thing that got stuffed

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u/rikashiku 2d ago

"Gargle and spit please"

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u/unique-name-9035768 2d ago Silver

looks again

"Oh, I guess you're more a gargle and swallow type."

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u/ProfessionalAsshole6 2d ago

aggressively upvotes

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u/Leon_Krueger 2d ago

"Gargle and spit this time, please"

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u/MelonLord13 2d ago

Honestly it was hard

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u/phpdevster 2d ago

"I wished it was longer"

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u/OrganizerMowgli 2d ago

Dentist looks back inside & sees scarring from repeated abuse

"huh."

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u/charlie_zoosh 2d ago

Reminds me of how my HR manager got caught sneaking out of the disabled toilet with red, watery eyes a few times and her voice would sound throaty for the rest of the day. We all immediately assumed that she was secretly bulimic. Turns out, she was regularly deep-throating the sales manager in there. His nickname was 'Rocco'.

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u/RogerSterlingsFling 2d ago

Classic Rocco move to be honest

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u/New_Awareness4075 2d ago

Ice cream? We have chocolate, strawberry, and Rocky Rococo

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u/captainsuckass 2d ago

How did you even find that out? lol

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u/charlie_zoosh 2d ago edited 2d ago

Some well-meaning souls started to subtly encourage her to seek help for what they believed was 'bulimia'. When that didn't work, they decided to catch her in the act of purging and hold an intervention outside the disabled toilet. Imagine their surprise when they saw Rocco turn up, knock on the door and be let in, followed by some dirty talk and much gargling...

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u/polorat12 2d ago

What they don't tell you is it's not usually a vanilla blowjob, it's usually someone that does it..... enthusiastically? Vicariously? With determination? You get it.

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u/Tyler_Nerdin 2d ago Wholesome

The kind of blowjob that sounds like guh-guh-guh-gak-gak!

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u/oeCake 2d ago Silver

The kind of blow job that you need a hollowed out grapefruit for

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u/twod119 2d ago

Those sounds haunt my dreams

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u/mysticfed0ra 2d ago

When you Grapefruit your man it's gonna feel like you're giving him head... and fucking him at the same time.

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u/Stevans8 2d ago

I hate that I immediately heard all the sounds inside my head upon reading this

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u/Snailspaced 2d ago

Hold on … grapefruit interferes with my heart meds

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u/UlfRinzler 2d ago

Urk! Grkh! Urghlgrghl!

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u/DLMoore9843 2d ago

The Gyuk-Guk9000

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u/conejoloco2020 2d ago

I don't think that means what you think it means.

vi·car·i·ous·ly /vəˈkerēəslē,vīˈkerēəslē/ adverb in a way that is experienced in the imagination through the actions of another person. "she was living vicariously through her children"

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u/SoVerySick314159 2d ago

"Vicarious Blowjob" - Band Name.

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u/GreedoInASpeedo 2d ago

Featuring Maynard James Keenan

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u/turtleneckless001 2d ago

Vicariously I, suck the whole world dry

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u/FremenStilgar 2d ago

Vicariously?

I'm assuming autocorrect vigorously happened?

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u/shp0ngle 2d ago

Perhaps the word you’re looking for is “vivaciously”

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u/Camora-FX 2d ago

„It sucked“

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u/Brief-One-2635 2d ago edited 2d ago Gold LOVE!

Joke’s on you, my dick is too small to cause bruising

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u/Kmccabe1213 2d ago Silver Helpful

Who reaches the back?!

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u/meme-by-design 2d ago

I cant even reach the front.

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u/varun_aby 2d ago

That's because you're a redditor

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u/aaronstudds 2d ago

Aren't we all?

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u/mpgd 2d ago

Some are built different

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u/KirbsNspices 2d ago

Wait, you guys are getting BJs? I thought they were a myth 🤔

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u/banana_buddy 2d ago

I thought girls were a myth too, never seen one on Reddit

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u/yourpantsaretoobig 2d ago

Honest question, but can’t most dicks reach the back of mouths? Mouths aren’t that deep

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u/the_ginger_fox 2d ago edited 2d ago Helpful

As someone who has sucked a variety of dicks. They all reached the back of my throat. Maybe if the dick is below average then it won't, haven't come across a smaller dick to test this on.

Edit: the creepy DMs due to this comment don't surprise me but this dude hangs out in the teenagers subreddit. Bro I'm not a pedo what were you expecting.

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u/WhoDatPokeMan 2d ago

Thank you for your service 🫡

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u/adumbbunnie 2d ago

Ayy! I can help confirm! My ex's would rest right on my tongue but never hit the back! It was cute chubby sausage sized!

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u/Glass_Memories 2d ago

The soft palate isn't the back, it's the top. Take your tongue and touch the roof of your mouth near the front. That's your hard palate. Move your tongue backwards and you'll feel it becomes soft, with a clear divide between the two. That's your soft palate. Diagram

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u/sensitivegooch 2d ago

You mean my weewee is supposed to stick out? Always thought a inverted nipple look was the normal look. Interesting.

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Stocktwatz 2d ago

More than likely just before the video started.

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u/_Reddit-Troll 2d ago

The doc looked guilty too.

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u/TERMINATORCPU 2d ago

"looked guilty", he looked pretty happy.

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u/Patrick4356 2d ago edited 2d ago

Based on my mouth(male) and my phone size(5.8inches)(s9 without case)should be rather easy to hit the back of someones mouth/entrance of the throat

;) damn i miss her fr🥴

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u/goodmobileyes 2d ago

I really hope someone walked in on you deepthroating your phone

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u/kamikazekaktus 2d ago

What are you doing?

-uh, research?

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u/no-mames 2d ago

You can reach it with a finger so it can’t be more than 3 or 4 inches

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u/ShakyFlood 2d ago

It may not be 12 inches but it sure smells like a foot

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u/RowanIsBae 2d ago

Ok why haven't I heard this before, cuz it's funny as fuck lol

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u/cabjar 2d ago

My girls are lucky that I always get flaccid boners 🥳🥳🥳

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u/NdnGirl88 2d ago

Is it just for same day? I need clarification!!!

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u/PompousKumquat 2d ago

Yes this is important info to remember when scheduling appointments!

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u/GrubH0 2d ago

You schedule your blow jobs 6 months out?

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u/Unicorntella 2d ago

You don’t??

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u/moderatorsareuseless 2d ago

Doesn't matter if the blowjob is scheduled in advance. Headaches seem to always be on call

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u/Blurredfury22the2nd 2d ago

Pretty sure my wife does

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u/CrooklynDodgers 2d ago Take My Energy

What difference does it make? Keep on slurpin

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u/SecretTennis8840 2d ago

My mom is my dentist.

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u/0hMyGodWhy 2d ago

Oh no

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u/Endorkend 2d ago

He did say the days after valentines day, so I'm guessing it lasts.

Which makes sense considering other bruises don't just go away in a day either.

And your mouth gets far more action than any other surface on your body.

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u/thatguyoudontlike 2d ago

A light bruise will stay for a while, probably a few days

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/confictura_22 2d ago

I wonder if it comes from the suction? So more like a hickey than a bruise from force.

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u/RowanIsBae 2d ago

Just underestimating how delicate the soft palette is. Bruises very easy

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u/Any_Affect_7134 2d ago

Well as long as you don't bruise anything you're fine. 🤷‍♂️

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u/icddrm 2d ago Silver Gold Helpful All-Seeing Upvote

I'm glad my wife isn't a dentist!

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u/AAAFate 2d ago

Wait...a...minute....

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u/bumjiggy 2d ago

too late, I'm done.

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u/delvach 2d ago

See this is why we need so much mouthwash around here, ya filthy bastard.

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u/K0Oo 2d ago

Genius

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u/UnsolicitedDogPics 2d ago

“Suck a wiener” sounds so much weirder than “gave a blowjob”.

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u/ShowThemToMe 2d ago

That sounds like something butters from southpark would say

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u/Hellboundroar 2d ago

And then would be promptly grounded

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u/UnsolicitedDogPics 2d ago

Oh hamburgers!

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u/small-iq 2d ago

Language! You just bought yourself another two weeks, mister.

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u/ok-go-fuck-yourself 2d ago

Butters! You’rrrrrrreeee grrrrounded!

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u/Be-Kind_Always-Learn 2d ago

It's that uncomfortable juxtaposition between adult content and child's language.

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u/makanimike 2d ago

I feel like she remembered halfway into the phrase that her mom is subbed to her tiktok.

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u/RaySwift17 2d ago

Gobble a schlong

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u/Holein5 2d ago

Slob a knob

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u/Sedaisedaiayay 2d ago

like corn on the cob

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u/public_enemy_obi_wan 2d ago

Check in with me, and do your job

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u/CosmicCreeperz 2d ago

Aka “the Oral B”.

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u/FeistyBandicoot 2d ago

More like the Oral D

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u/Bluebyday 2d ago edited 2d ago I'm Deceased

Wait. What if you just tried to eat an entire hotdog without biting or chewing?

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u/disillusionedchaos 2d ago

That would be a different motion. Im guessing its the repetitive nature. Unless you blowbang hotdogs of course.

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u/HonorableHam 2d ago

Not since highschool. And only wrapped in cornbread them

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u/Iamjimmym 2d ago Helpful

"Jesus Tom. People out here are deep fryin their dicks in cornbread just so their girlfriend's dentist doesn't rat them out to their mothers. The school's deep fryer is starting to look like a muckduck scene for christs sake! And the lunch lady is really getting sick and tired of all the boys asking her to 'dip their wiener' for them. Jesus fucking Christ, Tom. We need to put a stop to this."

"Dont look at me to put an end to all this. They dont call me 'the crusty corndog' for nothin'."

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u/ZirJohn 2d ago

if your pp is as soft as a hotdog when hard it will def not bruise anything

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u/[deleted] 2d ago edited 6m ago Silver

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u/BuffyTheEggPileLayer 2d ago

Can confirm. I found out in the worst way. My mom worked at a periodontist's office and would always get me in for a cleaning when I'd visit home (from college). One time, the young, new, studly doctor (who everyone in the office including my mom would swoon over) was super concerned about bruising/discoloration in my mouth--concerned enough to tell my mom.

Eventually it was figured out. Excruciatingly awkward. He must've skipped class the day this lesson was taught in dentist school.

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u/creepymccreepersdale 2d ago edited 2d ago

Ahhh, that doesnt sound like... a mistake. I get that you're a student but still an adult. Why not tell just you and leave it at that? Sounds like it was entertainment for him.

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u/BuffyTheEggPileLayer 2d ago

To clarify, he saw discoloration and I think initially wanted to do a follow-up because he was concerned. He did not realize the cause, at least not at first, nor did I. My mom and I figured it out during an, er, deductive conversation at home later and I never heard about it since (so I'm assuming the Dr either put it together, though I don't know). I honestly think my mom, though she was just a receptionist, had the epiphany--not the doc.

This was about a decade ago, so I remember the awkwardness more than specific dialogue.

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u/wargod_war 2d ago

The awkward thing for me would be that whilst he had experience and expertise in a field that deals with those type of injuries, your mum had more...and not 'cos of medical training...

I'd flip the awkwardness around on my mother. Although my mum is so awesome she'd just take it on the chin... ayoooooo

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u/creepymccreepersdale 2d ago

Pfftt, lol yeah i see what you mean.

"Oh yeah, you would know huh, Mom?"

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u/andrewstriesand 2d ago

You’re reading it as “he knew what the cause of the bruising was but brought it up out of concern”, OP is saying he didn’t know what the bruising actually was

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u/LadyMacGuffin 2d ago

The absolute fucking violation for the dentist to talk to your mother about your private health information. In the US that will get your license yanked, first offense.

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u/agoldgold 2d ago

Might've been him concernedly conferencing with his professional superior on a matter he could not identify himself. Like, "hey Coworker, this patient has a weird spot on their x-ray I've never seen before. Is it something I should run more tests on or is this a normal but little-known thing I need experience about?" Only it turned out to be sex related, and also the superior in question happened to be the patient's mother.

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u/MrZombieTheIV 2d ago

Title says "blowjob" not "facefuck"

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u/Nervous_Constant_642 2d ago

I can't be the only guy who is imagining how much force it would take to cause bruising. Aren't BJs the best when they're really soft and light and not when the girl is trying to suck it down like a jello shot?

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u/theodoreroberts 2d ago

You don't need much force to cause bruising in the mouth. You inner mouth gets bruises and tiny injuries all the time from a lot of normal activities. The thing is bj marks look different than othe types of injury marks.

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u/smzt 2d ago Gold

What does eating Captain Crunch look like? It feels like I’ve used a cheese grater on the roof of my mouth.

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u/islingcars 2d ago

Truth. I hate it but love cap crunch. Ugh

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u/FrogInShorts 2d ago

I went to the dentist for a cleaning the day after captain crunch and the dentist saw the roof of my mouth not knowing what caused the damage and told me i shouldn't eat solid foods for a week and revisit.

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u/BitemeRedditers 2d ago

Seems this Captain Crunch fellow really gets around.

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u/vyrelis 2d ago

Also suction causes bruising, like a hickey

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u/AgentPastrana 2d ago

It's very soft tissue. Your skin is to protect said soft tissue, hence why so many people think it would hurt, because of the amount of force it can take to bruise skin

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u/ciknay 2d ago All-Seeing Upvote

On a darker note, dentists are often trained to look out for the same bruising in children. I've heard of stories of abuse being uncovered this way because the abuser didn't think about it.

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u/Dramatic-Garbage-907 2d ago

This breaks my heart

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u/ddh85 2d ago

Okay that's just too terrible and enough Reddit for today.

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u/THATS_ENOUGH_REDDlT 2d ago

Same. I’m out.

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u/AbsolutelyUnlikely 2d ago

But the real world is where these stories come from. It's actually safer here. l

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u/Small-Ad-777 2d ago

Yeah like we were having fun here laughing and this guy just busts this extremely depressing shit. Thanks for that.

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u/al-tair_ezio 2d ago

Yeah had to look at it in a lecture. Everyone was disturbed. That case was the uncle, i can never forget it. Luckily I’ve never come across it myself

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u/archiekane 2d ago

And this is why it's not stranger-danger, it's more likely to be family or friend.

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u/cajunbander 2d ago Helpful

Seriously, I went to college for criminal justice, about 93% of children who are sexually abused know their abuser. The abusers take advantage of the trust of the child and their authority over them.

While we’re at it, yes, about half a million children go missing every year. However nearly 98% of them are found. Most of the time a child abduction is perpetrated by one of the kid’s parents. There’s not this massive conspiracy to kidnap and traffic kids into pedophile rings. Should you protect your kid, absolutely, and as a parent of three children, I do everything I can to keep them safe. That includes knowing the statistics and who to keep them safe from.

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u/MarcNmarc318 2d ago

Pediatric dentist here, it’s often hard to tell because it could be a popsicle etc. But certainly an indicator to look for other signs consistent with abuse eg wounds in different stages of healing, parents jumping to answer questions directed to the child

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u/GorillaHeat 2d ago Eureka!

Maybe we shouldn't shed light on this. Leave secret weapons secret

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u/hoopaholik91 2d ago

Well, if a pedophile sees this and decides it's too risky to engage in the behavior...that's kind of a win right?

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u/daraghlol 2d ago

Sadly I think it would mean a different method of abuse

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u/klopklop25 2d ago

Or just no dentist appointments anymore depending on who the abuser is.

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u/imnotsoho 2d ago

I think it is more likely they would stop sending the kid to the dentist.

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u/dcconverter 2d ago Take My Energy

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u/gravitasgamer 2d ago edited 2d ago

According to a 2017 paper revisiting the work, the paper was notable not only for that first, but also for the enthusiasm in which the corresponding doctor described the case, which involved ...

a sex worker with what he determined to be a particularly strong work ethic

As described in that 2017 paper and translated from French, the doctor described this patient as a...

.... “conscientious partner” who "had attached herself to work like an octopus to its prey."

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u/DirectlyTalkingToYou 2d ago

Her business card says

"I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for a fun time, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a dream for people like you. If you let my money go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will blow you."

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u/Dubious_Titan 2d ago

This ruined my day.

Mind you, i just read a story of a woman selling her children into slavery and abuse in 1940s Chicago. I am not often phased by stuff but goddamn if true this sure did it.

I don't even want to look up the validity of the claim. My heart hurts reading that, seriously.

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u/Ghostkill221 2d ago

No. Dentists can't tell this. If you are an abuser you are totally safe taking a kid to the dentist.

(dude... Stop telling people these things)

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u/thecloudkingdom 2d ago

im pretty sure the venn diagram of people who sexually abuse children and the venn diagram of people who take their kids to dental checkups isnt slim enough that someone sharing a factoid is going to change much. do you think someone whos doing that to a kid would see this and go "oh shoot i guess i'll just never take my kid to the dentist again, or else i'll have to schedule the pedo sessions and the dentist appointments more carefully!". chances are they wont remember it if they do see it

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u/DOCTORE2 2d ago

Joke's on you I was actually deepthroating a burrito

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u/Sicparvismagneto 2d ago Silver

Yeah or maybe cause your breath still smells like ball sack… LINDA, YOU WHORE!

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u/hugglesthemerciless 2d ago

who goes to the dentist without brushing their teeth 15 times first? Gotta hide the fact I last flossed 8 years ago

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u/L-methionine 2d ago

I’m just honest with them and say “every day for the last two weeks” when they ask. They get a chuckle out of it sometimes

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u/RaySwift17 2d ago

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u/micahamey 2d ago

No don't, that's how we got into this situation in the first place.

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u/[deleted] 2d ago edited 2d ago

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u/GentleBoneCrusher 2d ago

I never thought giving dome would be a uniting force for humanity, but here we are. It's quite beautiful, really.

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u/weebtrashparade 2d ago

Is that Gina darling? Lol

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u/Glass_persona 2d ago

That's Gina gargling

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u/px1618 2d ago Silver

With just a glans, a dentist can see who has given head. There's a vas deferens between a dentist and a common man for a reason

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u/Sensitive_Ladder2235 2d ago

That guy pulls more than most pro athletes.

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u/and_some_scotch 2d ago

I was so certain that the punchline was going to be "I can tell because you just sucked my wiener."

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u/donttouchdennis 2d ago

Dentists use this technique to identify when a child has been molested and have saved many children’s lives.

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u/dan994 2d ago

My girlfriends' mum is her dentist... This is a new problem I now have in my life.

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u/i_should_be_coding 2d ago

/u/dan994: Hey <gf's mom>. I just learned that Dentists can tell if someone has given head recently. Is that true?

<gf's mom>: Yeah, I wish we couldn't...

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u/thematrixnz 2d ago

Doesnt sound pleasant....getting mouth bruised by a dong

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

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u/mybalzitch_ 2d ago

It's not soft in there that's for sure.

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u/YellowManofCustard 2d ago

this happened to my cousin but on the roof of her mouth shortly after she started dating her bf

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u/WrongSplit3288 2d ago

The guy has impeccable hair

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u/EveningBasket9528 2d ago

My Dad was a dentist, and mom a hygienist & both have confirmed. Lol.

On a tangent, check out how dentistry was done for some Vietnamese during the war. (1972)

We found this when my father died and had it digitized. I wish we had found it before he passed.

No gloves, sitting on the hood of an army jeep.

https://imgur.com/gallery/GiD0xGo

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u/bifdthrowaway 2d ago

Oh Gina lol

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u/HDDIV 2d ago

Of course she's the one asking. On brand.

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u/YourDrunkUncl_ Expert 2d ago

im not a dentist but I can tell from this woman’s face that she has munched on a wiener fairly recently

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u/BaldDudeFromBrazzers 2d ago

And by the smile of the dude, we might make another informed assumption…

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u/CatMakeoutSesh 2d ago

…that he too has munched on a wiener.

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u/bumjiggy 2d ago

damn even the dentist out here giving mouth hugs? I blame inflatio

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u/cacabean 2d ago

infellation

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u/Cast290 2d ago

That’s insane and funny

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u/SuedeVeil 2d ago

Really though who cares lol... oral sex is just part of sex. Oh noes my dentist knows I have sex!

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u/314159265358979326 2d ago

It does depend to a degree on where you live and what gender you are.

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u/Hank_N_Lenni 2d ago

Who are these guys that are getting blowjobs on valentine’s day?

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u/EitherClass3061 2d ago

Well ladies. If you want to suck on the ol meat whistle without your soft palate getting bruised I am your guy.

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u/techHyakimaru 2d ago

Oral B 's real meaning.

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u/Jocosta 2d ago

Oh god! My dad was my dentist for the first 22 years of my life…. I may die now.

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u/stannc00 2d ago

Because your breath smells like Axe Body Spray and penis.

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u/ham5th 2d ago

Y’know, the thing about a blowjob, they got lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll’s eyes. When they comes after ya, they don’t seem to be livin’ until they bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white, and then – aww!!!!

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u/ColorblindBren 2d ago

What are you doing!? Are you doing the speech from Jaws? Are you doing Jaws? We don’t have time for this shit, this is serious.

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u/PurpleBullets 2d ago

Eleven hundred men enter the blowjob. 316 men come out.

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u/GMane2G 2d ago

Show me the way to gooo hooome

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u/broncosfan2159 2d ago

No more blow jobs babe I've got a dentist appt in 9 months

17

u/Qoppa_Guy 2d ago

He's so proud of revealing this revelation of knowledge

118

u/Any-Implement-9558 2d ago

Omg 😲 I have to go the dentist Friday!😆😅🤣😂

116

u/Carl__Gordon_Jenkins 2d ago

Stop giving head immediately. For science.

97

u/ReggieBushr00t 2d ago

Or pick up the pace

38

u/All_The_Nolloway 2d ago

...what does salsa have to do with this?

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